I have been hurt and taken advantage of by people because they were in the position to do so and because I put them in the position to do so. It was my choice that gave them the power. I allowed them. When they hurt me, I would sit back and analyze things from when I allowed them some power and position up to the point they took advantage of me; stabbing me in the back, looking me in the eye. Sometimes I would think of vengeance.
Of course, not all had to do with love and a broken heart.
Can you relate to this?
As an aspiring businessman, you set out to launch something big. You decide to bring in a friend who says he can be of much help in the success of the launch. You agree, you bring him in, show him your ideas, give him your trust. One night, you slept with the thoughts of clinking wine glasses with him soon. The next morning, you woke up to realize your friend was only ‘tapping’. He left. With your ideas, framework, and schemes. He made them his, got all you dreamt of. In the twinkling of an eye.
You go through all the stages of grief, blaming yourself for being too open, gullible, stupid maybe. You then comfort yourself that everything that goes around, comes around. If you are a Christian, you hear yourself saying, “God will judge” many times.
Until you start thinking of revenge. Sweet, slow revenge. How karma would use you to get back at this person. How you will get the position and power needed to get back, to collect your portion of the person’s skin.
These are fleeting thoughts at first. Then, settling thoughts. Dominating thoughts. Disturbing thoughts. Choking thoughts.
For some, these thoughts remain just thoughts that eventually fade. For others, they translate into actions. Vengeful actions. Some well planned and accurate. Others; erratic, widespread and beyond control. In both cases, there is an initial satisfaction of getting back. You congratulate yourself for the feat accomplished. You smile. But that upward curve does not last. It eventually curves downward or becomes a flat line.
You know why?
Revenge does not undo the hurt. It does not bring back what was lost.
It does not prevent future hurt and loss.