Recently, a classmate of mine walked up to me beaming with smiles. “Hi dear, I would like to inform you about my wedding coming up in October. I know it is still months away but I just want to ensure you are carried along.”
Of course, many congratulations and hugs came up as I received the news. It was great news that finally, someone from our class was getting married. It also brought to mind many other friends, in different courses, who had gotten married or were also about to.
It was interesting and also a bit sobering.
I wondered, did they really enjoy the single phase of their lives? Did they find fulfillment in those years of being independent and alone? Or were they so occupied with life and the scurry to walk down the aisle?
I once mentioned to a friend that marriage is not compulsory. His response made it seem like I just blasphemed. He is not alone in his school of thought. That school of thought that considers marriage the highest form of fulfillment and a do or die affair. I am not anti-marriage but I am not hinging my life on ensuring I get married at all costs. Neither should anyone.
Marriage is beautiful and so is all that comes with it; spending your years with that person you delight in so much, having a great home, wonderful kids, growing old together and being loved. Awesome! Caution though! This picture should not be so highly exalted in our minds that we cast a dark and dull luster on our bachelorhood and spinsterhood.
Being single is amazing if you make it so. It is that period when you can discover yourself, engage in life building activities and make friends, connections, real life world wide webs that always come into play later on.
This is the time to explore the world or at least places you have never been to. By yourself. Not waiting till there is someone else who may or may not be excited by the things that excite you on these trips.
Also, ask yourself, what am I bringing to the table of marriage if/when the time comes? This applies to both male and female. A holy writ talks of iron sharpening iron. If you are made up of just wood and you are looking for iron, I wonder what sort of sharpening is to be expected.
You want someone mature? Be mature!
You want someone financially stable? Be financially stable!
You want a funny person? Find your humour!
These things and others are done and gotten while single and even though they can continue when one is married, a foundation built while single will go a long way to make things easier and better. You have to also realize that it is that ‘YOU’ from your being single that you are carrying into the marriage. Yes, there are opportunities for upgrades but that default operating system still holds some sway.
So, while you are single, live life. Fully. This does not give a license for a reckless life.
Make life count! Being single is part of life, make it count!
Join the designed life Academy courses and let’s get you busy on being that wholesome single that you are.